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Saturday, April 11, 2009

Cougars on the loose!

It is fairly common to find a guy and a gal together where the guy is older than the gal. In most circles of my life while growing up, it was even preferred. Here in the states I'm going to guess up to 5 years difference in age is the norm, but 10 years not being all that uncommon. Anything above 10 years and we're going to start seeing some frowns.

On my many excertions to South East Asia, I've found that the age difference between men and woman in relationships (Men being much older) is quite accepted and normal. I guess it just depends on cultural factors.

Older woman, as might be expected, are not as sought after by younger men. It probably has to do with men wanting children from younger woman, as well as the natural way that men are visual about woman. I'm sure that a Psychologist could sharpen the reasons better than me. Maybe older woman feel that there is no hope for them to find a solid loving relationship? Well, I have never believed that and it seems that I was right because now we have a new reality show called:


More information about the new show can be found here.

Like all reality shows, Cougars will probably be exaggerated in any way that will bring in the dollars, but maybe the time has come for mature woman to get the attention they deserve? I hope so as they have quite a bit to offer a partner.

I don't think they could have made a reality show like cougars unless they felt there was a demand for it. I think our culture here in the states has been changing a bit. I believe there is more interest in older woman/younger men relationships, especially by young men.

Whatever changes are coming in our culture that relate to cougars relationships, I'm one who welcomes it as a long time coming. Let's see if the show can open some eyes that may have been shut a bit too tight in the past!

So, is a rise in older woman/younger men relationships a good thing, or are there negative ramifications to our society?



  1. Wow. Really interesting question that you pose. Typically, I guess that the Cougar herself has already done the whole "husband and kids" kind of thing. She is financially secure and just wants sex. And the young guy just wants sex. So there is a lot of sex. Is there love? I don't know. I'm not old enough to be a cougar. I do know that when I've dated younger men they weren't mature enough or responsible enough to stay in my life for long.

    But then again, maturity and responsibility are important to me at this point in my life.

    What happens when I am sick of being responsible and mature?

    Sigh. I don't know. I hope some cougars will comment.

    Regardless, I am glad that hot older women are getting their due.

  2. I applaud the older woman-younger guy model. However, I think that giving an animal name to the woman is sexist. Why is no animal name attached to an older man who is with a younger woman? Or why, in an older woman-younger man relationship, does the younger man not get an animal name?

    Therefore I am disappointed in Courtney Cox's show "cougartown"


  3. Thanks for your insight Singlutionary. I believe without responsibility and some maturity, there can be no real relationship. I think, to answer my question, that it's a good thing. The more diverse relationships we have afforded to us in society, the better the chances of success.

  4. You know something Christina, I never even realized that point! Maybe because I'm a guy. Then again, you're the first person I've ever heard mention it. Maybe we should give a name, it's only fair!

  5. I like younger guys;)

    However I do not like the fact that women are given a name for liking younger men when men have been doing the same for decades and are called... MEN.

  6. Amy, Christina pointed that out here and I agree. Time to create a name me thinks :)

  7. Can this be because of Hollywood couple like Demi and Ashton? :)

  8. You may have something there HSG! I mean, they're always on the news these days :)

  9. Definitely hate the term "cougar"...as if sexuality in any woman requires a animal term...think of Dog/Bitch, Cow, Cougar, Sex Kitten...same with men: equivalent would be dogs or pigs...what else?
    Who cares about the age difference? Why do we have to label things that are initially unusual..

  10. As a 40 something woman, I have to admit that I find the term cougar a little offensive. Something about the woman on the prowl ready to pounce on the younger man that's just too much.

    That said, quite a few of my friends that didn't go the married with children route are dating younger men. A lot of the men their age have children and ex wives and more baggage than the younger, care free men that they prefer to date.

  11. Special K, You make a great point about labeling. I guess it can only change one person at a time. I also don't think age difference is a major factor.

    Thanks for stopping by :)

    AdviceMaven, it's so true that most of these woman are not on the prowl! No baggage seems like a good reason to date younger men, or ladies for that matter.

    Cheers :)

  12. There is nothing wrong with older women and younger men. If it wasn't for those relationships, I would be bored. LOL Younger guys are fun to hang out with and enjoy things with. But as a single older woman, at least I have a choice on younger or older, and know the difference between the two...lol I just say keep an open mind.

  13. Hi Lucid Dreams, the best of both worlds? Now that's a great perspective! I agree with an open mind, I mean, at one time everyone "knew" the world was flat, right? :)

    Thank you!

  14. Hey Bobbyboy,
    An open mind is one of the keys to life experience, and experience is your best teacher...lol I could tell you about more worlds I have experienced, but that would mean you would have to put up a new topic in your blog....lol

  15. I agree Lucid Dreams, I learn nothing with a closed mind. I really don't have that much life experience, well in certain areas maybe, but if you have more worlds for me to explore, I'm willing to make the topic ;)

    Thanks so much!

  16. The Swingers lifestyle....lol

  17. Ah yes, swingers! I have more research to do, but I can do a post on it as it seems many couples are doing it these days :)

  18. I've also noticed an increase in this version of the May-December pairing. What interests me about these relationships is that they seem to have more staying power than the reverse model, in which the man is much older than the woman. I have no stats to back that up, so that may be inaccurate, but it's what I've observed.

    As with all relationships in which there's a big age gap, I think it can be problematic if there's a big difference in maturity, physical fitness, interests, life goals, and whatnot. But as long as both partners are on the same page, I don't see why they shouldn't go for it. Actually, since women live longer than men, a setup like this could be much better for everyone in the long run.

  19. "But as long as both partners are on the same page, I don't see why they shouldn't go for it."

    Elsie, it took me many years to undo the stereotypes and common beliefs that were ingrained in my head as a young boy to understand a statement like the one above!


Thanks so much for your comment and input! :)

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