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Monday, February 2, 2009

Who pays for the date?

"Chimpanzees will catch a little rabbit or hand over sugar cane. The bird catches a fish and hands it to the female," Fisher says. "The exchange of food for sex. It's called courtship feeding. You see it in insects. In fact, it's so common in insects that they call it the nuptial gift."

After reading Singlegirl's excellent post about the topic here, I did a google to see if there are standards for who pays the check on a date. I didn't find a clear cut "We all agree" standard, but I did find an interesting perspective about why the most common belief that the male pick up the check is the most common, and why.

Read the rest from the quote above in the short article here.



  1. If you're a guy/girl trying to get that person to interested in you, then you should pay. The person that ask should pay. We don't ask best friend to go to a movie with us and then let her/him pay for both. So it should be the same in dating situation as well. Thinking who should pay can becomes a game play, who has the upper hand.

  2. I think it can be a game also HSG, which isn't all that productive to start a relationship. Others agree with what you say (who invites, pays) and it makes sense too, but there is no clear guideline for this. So many people have so many different ideas lol

  3. I agree with the above comment:) I think the person who asks should offer to pay- Also, for me- I just kind of go with my gut instinct and see if it feels dutch:)lol

  4. Amy, so far there's a small consensus, not rule# x of the great dating book, but a start :)

    Thank you!

  5. Here's what I do:

    If I like him, I let him pay.

    If I don't, I offer to split the check so I don't feel guilty when I tell him later I don't want to see him again.

    Food for thought.

  6. Hi Single Mama!
    Not a bad little system you have there. Definitely food for thought :)

  7. I agree with happyskinnygirl. You should let your friendship style speak to your dating style. That makes things much easier when the crush grows into something real and you're dealing with a real relationship.

    I like it when the woman at least offers to pay. It means she's not trying to be a mooch. I always pay when I'm on a date with somebody I don't like because as soon as I figure out I don't like them, I pay and leave. Life is too short to spend it with somebody you find revolting.

  8. Seth, seems you have your values in place and well thought out, love it!


  9. I go dutch as long as we aren't in a relationship unless the guy really insists to the point that I feel like I'm being rude if I don't accept. The way I see it is that I don't think a guy should have to take on any financial responsibility for me unless I am "his," and I don't want to encourage a guy to think I'm "his" until, well, I am. ;)

  10. LOL Else, sounds like you've thought this through!


Thanks so much for your comment and input! :)

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