Guest author article from Sex, Lies and Dating in the City

This is a guest article that Singlegirl wrote for TSB magazine.

So, you’ve perfected your game and have no trouble meeting women. But now you’ve met a girl you like more than the others, someone you want as a girlfriend. Well, darling, you’re screwed. Because the skills that make you a great pick-up artist aren’t going to help you a damn bit when it comes to making her your girlfriend and giving that relationship a chance to work.

All of the things you’ve learned to get a woman’s attention, intrigue her, unsettle her, they’re useless to you now. I’m not being judgmental here. Hey, whatever works, just don’t be a jerk. If a routine makes you feel more confident when approaching women, go for it. I just want to prepare you for the inevitable. That routine stops working the minute you want more from her.

Now, I admit, I’m coming at this from a different, more “experienced” perspective. I’ve had a lot more experience with the opposite sex and dating than most of you (I am not going to put a number out there because A- that will make me look like a slut due to society’s double standard and B- it will actually depress the hell out of me to sit here and try to think of the number). And I’ve learned a few things. Allow me to share.

5 Things You Should Do If You Want To Make A Girl Your Girlfriend:

1. Show an interest in something that’s important to her. This means more than listening. It means acting on what you hear. Send her links to websites you think she’ll like. Buy her a book on a topic she cares about. This shouldn’t be a grand, romantic gesture - just a simple, “I listen to you and respect what you like”.
2. Ask to meet her friends and introduce her to your friends (if you are not a part of the same social circle). This seems like a no-brainer, but a lot of guys wait until they are firmly settled into a relationship before taking this step. A girl will wonder, ‘if he really likes me he would introduce me to his friends’.
3. Share your honest feelings. Again, this sounds like a no-brainer, but note the word honest. This means saying, “I’m confused” when you’re confused, and “I’m not sure what I want” when you don’t know what you want. Women like confidence and security but will smell a fake before long.
4. Ask her opinion about something important to you. It could be a work issue or something related to your future, but let her know you value her input.
5. Tell her something you’ve learned from experience. Something real that can be confirmed and cross-referenced as she gets to know you better. For example, “I always thought I wanted to be a ______ until I interned at a _____ during college. Then I realized that that wasn’t what I wanted to do with my life.” Or, “I learned a lot about ______ from my grandfather.”