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Friday, October 10, 2008

Fears by Miss MatchMaker...

I came across a post recently that I'd like to share with you all. It made a lot of sense to me and I believe can be quite helpful to many. The article was written by Miss MatchMaker who runs a site packed full of great information on dating and relationship. I suggest paying her a visit at:



September 7, 2008 by Miss MatchMaker

Filed under Blog

We all have them, not all of us are able to admit to them! Once we are able to identify our fears then we have to ask ourselves are we ready to conquer them?Until we make a concise decision to make a positive change in our life we are unable to move forward in a healthy direction.

Many people suffer greatly form the fear of REJECTION. This is very common in 90% of the single male population. With the fear of rejection comes shyness as well. Think about it why does that shy person sit alone in the corner at a party…they are afraid if they talk to someone it will only result in yet another rejection. Most people who suffer from the fear of rejection have a very hard time meeting new people and do not often put themselves in social situations where they can meet new people.

Some people suffer from the fear of INTIMACY. Not intimacy in the physical sense but in the emotional sense. It is a fear of letting someone close to their heart. This usually stems from a previous bad relationship and essentially is a fear of BEING HURT. Most people who suffer from this fear of intimacy tend to keep others at arms length therefore never allowing anyone to get to know the person they are inside. People who have this fear of intimacy tend fall into the next fear as well…

The fear of COMMITMENT is one in which a person can be dating someone special but they are always keeping their eyes open for something better to come along. Ultimately the other person in the relationship spots this after several attempts to take the relationship to a higher level which typically ends the relationship right then and there. A person with the fear of commitment typically loses what may have been their greatest love. This person makes me want to scream “open your eyes!”

Many people suffer also from a fear of BEING ALONE. These are people who stay in bad relationships or relationships that will never go far. They seek comfort in others even though they may not truly be in love. They tend to be in love with the idea of being in love and not in love with the person they are with. They jump from one relationship to the next and typically fall for the very first person that pays them a little bit of attention.

Sometimes all we need to do to conquer these fears is recognize them. Looking back at past relationships and establishing patterns can be a great mental exercise. If we don’t learn from our mistakes we are condemned to repeat them. Making a commitment to yourself that you are willing to face and conquer these fears is the first step to finding and attracting the right person for you!

I believe in speaking the truth out load because when you do, you can truly help people! Fear is temporary, regret is forever…

What are some of your fears?


  1. Great post. I see myself having fear of rejection. Of course I hurt myself even more by trying to have a relationship with a "fear of commitment" kind of guy. What you posted is exactly what happened. He was always on the lookout for someone better. When I realized he had an interest in another woman I walked away. The other woman had absolutely zero interest in him but I don't want the consolation prize either. He was the kind of many that wanted to be treated like a king but never allowed me to be a queen. I was the fool.

  2. Thank you for your reply anonymous!
    and I want to say GOOD FOR YOU!
    You recognized that he wasn't willing to commit equally in the relationship and you walked away, bravo!
    No one should be, or be made to feel, like the consolation prize.

    I wouldn't say that you were a fool, oh no, we all make mistakes, but that we learn from them, as you clearly have, is the measuring cup. It's when we continue to make the same mistakes repeatedly that it becomes foolish.

    I hope you find the guy that is willing to treat you like a queen. He's out there somewhere, rest assured!


  3. Monica said...

    sigh!!!..."fear of being alone" so true...we all want to have someone around us!...so true...see I always meet guys who want to take me out for a date...but that is not what i want...I want 2 things -
    1. Right guys should approach me - I hate getting all the attention in the bars, eating places...
    2. Guys should do right things - listen to me!

    Also, I like shyness in people...I think it means that the person has some respect for me!!!...this guy I met via ********...he was telling me...I am so damn beautiful that if he had seen me before coming to meet me - he would have been daunted by my beauty ...hell no!...I need to start using ******** more effectively :)

    Love your comment Monica, but you have no profile anywhere that I can find, so I edited the website just in case it was spam.

    If you are real and have a blogger or MyBlogLog profile, please let me know, thanks.


Thanks so much for your comment and input! :)

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