****Relationships really can work, if we're willing to be honest about them!****

About-Home-Contact-Helpful Resources

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Cohabitation, is it right for you?

These days it can make a lot of sense for single people to get apartments together in order to fight the rising costs of, well everything. We all understand this and probably agree. What I'd like to discuss today however, is "Cohabitation" as defined by wiki:

"Cohabitation is when people live together in an emotionally- and/or physically-intimate relationship. The term is most frequently applied to couples who are not married."

There may be advantages and disadvantages to this type of living arraignment depending on your views of religion, practicality, financial, family acceptance and so on.

On the plus side, a couple can get a much better perspective about each other by living together. Let's face it, there are issues that we really can't know about each other unless we experience them first hand. Does he leave his socks lying around all over the place? Does she use the bathroom getting ready for work for a minimum of an hour each morning? Who will actually walk the dog, do the cleaning and make sure the bills get paid on time? In the courtship phase of a relationship, we all tend to put our best foot forward, but is this truly who we are while living day and night with a partner? With cohabitation, we can learn these realities before taking the bigger step toward marriage.

loneliness is not a concern any longer when living with a companion. We no longer have to say our good nights to our partner and then try to find a good movie to watch to pass the time. Or have to pick up the phone to call our partner just to feel the connection.

If both partners are working, then the financial situation can be so much better for both. One rent, electric-cable-gas bill for one household. Probably, the two can even get a savings together for a future home of their own after Marriage.

If, after a period of time, the two partners realize that they can not live together, they may be saving themselves from a future divorce. This can be a big plus in and of itself.

On the other hand, there can be some negatives about cohabitation or even the discussion of it. One partner can be very religious and doesn't believe in living together before marriage. The topic of having no sex before marriage has been a staple of many, mostly female, concerns and living together would be a taboo for her/his family. If a lady felt that cohabitation was a practical idea and tried it, would she be risking a bad relationship with her family if it didn't work out?

Some of us are more independent than others and enjoy a greater amount of freedom to do as we please. With cohabitation, we don't quite enjoy the same freedoms that we once did. Maybe she doesn't want him to go out with the boys on a given night, whereas before, he didn't have that concern.

I am more of a practical thinker and would probably opt for cohabitation with a partner for the reasons stated above.

What about you? Do you find cohabitation a positive or negative idea and why? I'd love to hear your thoughts on this and any other additional reasons, pro or con, that I didn't mention about cohabitation.


  1. hi, got to yours via NML's blog. My opinion is you would need to put much more hard academic study into it (and overall topic of relationships in this blog). Sociologists and psychologists have proved by now that the said benefits of knowing your partner better in cohabitation are a bogus. Sadly, research on the topic was first published only in 1989, which gives too little time to reach out for "society". Funny as it is, I refused to cohabitate on basis of these practical considerations (damaging dynamics of relationship), but most probably everyone thought I am a nutty Catholic. (I am not religious)

  2. Hi Anonymous, welcome and thank you for your perspective.

    I would love to see a few links about the benefits being bogus as I've never come across this idea before.

    Thanks so much for your input :)


Thanks so much for your comment and input! :)

eXTReMe Tracker