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Monday, September 1, 2008

Shyness, friend or foe?

When it comes to relationships, dating in particular, Psychologytoday says that 65% of people feel shy around the opposite sex, source. I, as one of this 65%, know that shyness can be a relationship killer. So, this being the case for me, maybe it's the case for you as well.

I have decided to tackle this problem by becoming pro-active. I recognize that I am shy, want to do something about it and possibly help others along the way too. Here are a couple of links that I found with a quick google search.


I'm sure there are many other links out there that may be better suited for different people, so go on, give it a search because you have nothing to loose (except maybe a little shyness) :)


  1. Well, I'm definitely shy, and I know that introversion is a very ingrained personality trait and hard to change. I tried many times and finally realized that it was just part of who I am and that I needed to accept that part of myself instead of trying to exorcise it.

    In the end, I felt much better about myself after I learned to work with instead of against my shyness. The way I see it, my shyness is part of who I am, and if someone is interested in me, he's going to have to accept it. If he sees it as a negative trait, I'm probably not the right girl for him!

    That said, if overcoming your shyness is very important to you, I do wish you the very best of success! Please let us know how you progress.

  2. That's major. I thought the numbers would be between 10-15% or so in any situation. I think knowing the number is helping a great deal :)

  3. Hi Elsie,
    Excellent advice! When it was all said and done, I said the same thing to myself that you did:
    "The way I see it, my shyness is part of who I am, and if someone is interested in me, he's going to have to accept it." Except I used the pronoun she lol.

    I also think having respect for a lady can be a roadblock. Having too much respect may bring the niceguy syndrome into play, not enough, and the badboy emerges, at least in her mind. I didn't realize that respect could be a negative thing.

    Hi Jessica,
    wow, 10-15% seems low to me, but maybe because I'm shy? Maybe you aren't that shy and thought others weren't either.

    Yep, the numbers are helpful for me because I know I'm not alone lol

  4. I used to be really shy and that's why I thought it was very low, because I thought I was alone. I'm still shy but not that bad...I think :) Being shy is not bad trait but a lot of opportunity missed.

    When I think of nice guy syndrome, it means he doesn't have his own views on things. It's nice if he agree with me but he could also share his point of view once in a while. I don't think it has to do with respect.

  5. I think you would know if you were still really shy Jess lol. So, would you like to share your less shyness secret or do I have to buy the book? ;)

    Your idea of the nice guy syndrome is interesting. I guess I don't have that part of it because I am ok with sharing my views also. Yes, I don't think it has to do with respect either.
    I think what I mean about the respect thing is that sometimes a lady may be waiting for the guy to make a move, but the guy may be a bit hesitant until he is more sure. He doesn't want to dis-respect the lady.

    It seems like a fine line sometimes.

  6. Well, I can say that I am a shy person in some ways actually. Specially when I don't really know the person I am with or talking to. But that was just on the first time. The next is no longer that shy. hehe!
    Nice blog! Thanks for always visiting my blog.

  7. Hi Chie, thanks for the comment. I'm not all that shy around everyone, just the ladies sometimes lol. Takes me a little longer than a 2nd, 3rd or even 5th time :O

  8. Hi boboy,

    Nice post, Nice topic. Me, too i will try to pay a visit laugh. I want to remove my shyness.I'm shy laugh.laugh.laugh.


    Thanks for dropping by in my paged.
    Don't forget to cast out your vote ok.

    Allen's darling


Thanks so much for your comment and input! :)

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