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Thursday, May 8, 2008

A post from melindaspenpals.com

There are not many websites that I frequent on a regular basis, but melindaspenpals is one that I do. It was started by a gentleman named Steve and his wife (A Filipina) for the purpose of bringing together Western men and Filipino ladies who are looking for a chance at love.

There is quite a variety of topics in the forum area that touch on many diverse issues dealing with relational issues. I read and post regularly on this forum and wanted to share one of the replies that I wrote recently with you. Maybe it can have some value for you or someone you know? If you want a more in depth idea about this discussion (and many others), feel free to go visit melindaspenpals by clicking on the name or going directly to the post by clicking on the title, young couples and love . And don't worry about any charge because everything is free!

Young Couples and Love

There is no doubt that with maturity comes the ability to make better and wiser decisions. Also, as you grow older you usually have more "staying" power. You learn more productive ways to deal with problems that come up in relationships. Couples in their 30's are less likely to jump ship at the first sign of trouble. Young couples tend to be more emotional and less able to handle conflict. I understand this is not true in all cases, I am only speaking of my own experiences and what I have observed with this website.

Having said all of this, what can young couples do that are really really in love to keep their relationship from becoming ship wrecked? How can you make it to the finish line (meeting your penpal in the Philippines) without the relationship becoming derailed? Is it possible that one major "blow up" might stop you from meeting and falling completely in love with the lady or guy you were meant to be with for a lifetime?

Reply from bobbyboy:

Quote
How can you make it to the finish line (meeting your penpal in the Philippines) without the relationship becoming derailed?

Making it to the finish line can be hard enough for anyone, and maybe more so for younger couples. Putting a LDR in the equation makes it more difficult for a variety of reasons. Having said that, here are some observations.

I asked my Aunt and Uncle who have been together for 40 plus years how they made it all work. They both agreed that communication and a willingness to give and take based on respect for your partners opinion was key. I have asked other long time partners this same question and it was very similar as well.

I have said on my blog and to anyone that will listen, that a person must know what they want for their future and how a partner fits into that scenario. If one can not be honest with themselves first about relationships, they probably won't be all that honest with their partner either.

When a LDR is in the mix, other issues come into play and some have been sighted on MP.

How does religion fit into the mix?
Who is willing to live in what country?
Are their different values between his and her families?
Are both partners ready for the give and take needed for cross-cultural relationships to work?

There are issues that need to be dealt with and thought out before hand.

I believe that any couple needs to be ready to accept that a relationship may not work out with a certain partner, but if it doesn't work out, it should be because honesty prevailed and saved some heart-ache down the road.

How does a westerner know that a PI lady loves him for him and not for economic reasons?
How does the PI lady know for sure that a westerner isn't just saying and doing the right things to get into her pants?
These are real and valid concerns among others.

What if a lady or man was played a few times in the past? Are they ready to give the next person a clean sleight and start off fresh? Are they capable of doing that?

I like the answers I've read here so far and age can be a factor going forward in life.

My only advice is simple, be completely honest with yourself and find out what it is that you want in life and what you are willing to accept or not accept for yourself. If you are young yet, take your time doing this.

Quote
Is it possible that one major "blow up" might stop you from meeting and falling completely in love with the lady or guy you were meant to be with for a lifetime?

Yes, I believe so as I've seen it happen before, but I'm not sure that it would have been the person you were meant to be with forever because it ended and one would never know.

But again, we all have different goals and temperaments. Some of us here would not tolerate a major blowup depending on the blowup, some would, this is why we need to know individually who we are and what we want from ourselves and our partner for life.

There is experience and maturity in life on different levels. Young people can make a life long commitment and stay with it or not. The same applies to older couples as well, but their goals may be different at their stage in life.

They, young or older, need to know.

Tags: Filipina penpals, Filipina Dating, Asian penpals, Asian penpals, Melindas Penpals, Asian bride, Pinay Dating, Filipina Forum, Asian dating, MP Forum, Filipina sex, melindaspenpalscom, melindaspenpals, Philippines penpals, Filipina lady, Filipina ladies


4 comments:

  1. WOw boboy very nice post here...I like your post i can learn something here because me i don't have time to read on books hehehe Love Story only because i am crazy of Love story but inspirational and how to build relationship etc..nope no time to read.hehehe please keep on posting i'll be here always.

    happy friday for tom.

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  2. Hey, thank you so much and I appreciate your comment :)

    I hope to post more from this website too because I learn a lot there and made some great friends!

    Have a great Friday ^_^

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  3. u got nice post here bob, keep it up!!!
    btw, thanks for checking my blog...

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  4. Hi hugme and thank you. You are very welcome, keep up the blogging!

    ReplyDelete

Thanks so much for your comment and input! :)

 
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