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Wednesday, May 21, 2008

LDR's (Long distant relationships)

Over the course of my relationship analysis (Mainly based from online), I never really thought to put myself in a long distance relationship through a web site. I have always wanted, and succeeded, in making many friends. But belonging to many dating/pen pal sites, I have done a lot of reading about other peoples LDR's.

I am going to venture to put together a list of problems that a LDR could pose and the possible remedies as well. I am going to use some of the opinions given from a site that I frequent regularly:

But, I need your help and LDR experience as well.

What are the most common problems that a LDR poses?
How are some of the ways we can either avoid, or correct them?

Thanks for your help all :)

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  1. Hey Bobby!

    I have been in a LDr with my husband before we got married.
    I think it went really well in our case.Actually we first corresponded and I think via letters,we could express and say everything we wanted to tell each other.

    And then as time went by, phone calls have been the easiest form of communication because I did'nt have my own pc at that time.

    He calls me regularly on the time it is both convenient for us.
    If we miss the chance of talking with each other,we email.

    We are now going on our sixth year this year.

  2. Hi boboy

    LDR means a lot sacrificing is the key for these...and...trust but made sure if you trust somebody that you can't be so sure yet...please put a limitation on your behalf.Because me i once on this kind of relationship too.Thanks god,we both survived and right now,we are still surviving but with the help of our trust and respect w/each others and trust w/the lord also,we are blessed always.

    Trusting and Sacrificing for me is the main key for these kind of relationship.

    Its only my opinion thanks for posting this topics.

  3. Common problem? Why doesn't he calls me? Why do I have to call him all the time? Doesn't he likes me enough? On the other end on the guy side, is she really into me? Am I enough? Is she for real? I don't know her yet. While he's on the thinking, there're other guys in real life that want to ask her out. She gets insecured and starting to date other guy intead. Ok I don't know the guy side, but that's what I'm guessing :)It's a pain to have an "online" relationship, but that's where you meet truly wonderful people.

  4. I never had a problem having a LDR because for all i know my partner and i trust each other and where doing some paranoia thing...We're just honest with each other..that's all..

  5. Jade, it is so heart warming to come across a couple that have such a strong and successful relationship, even warmer when it's cross-cultural!

    I wish your success was the rule and not the exception as I believe it is at this time.
    Thanks so much for your input.

    PLS, thanks for the tips! I have a feeling that trust and sacrifice are going to be two of the big issues in the survey.
    As always, thanks so much for commenting!

    you have given me some great insight and raised some really good points. I just had a discussion on the melindaspenpals site about the issue of how many missed chat appointments is considered acceptable or not.
    I agree that online relationships can be a real pain, but I'm excited that as time goes on, they will become more successful :)
    Thank you so much!

    Hi dondon,
    It seems things are going well for you with your LDR, fantastic!
    Yes, trust AND honesty have to be staples in such relationships.
    Thanks so much for your input!

    Cheers everyone!

  6. hey bob..i want ur help..hehe can u go to this site http://www.pinaylovestories.com/ and look for "love storied from marf" can u vote for me? thanks friend!

  7. You’ve been tagged for the “6 word or less memoir” blog game!

  8. Hi Marfzie, it's already done ;)
    Good luck!

    Uh-oh, I've been tagged :O
    Stay tuned to see what I do lol
    Thank you Jess!

  9. Some common LDR problems:

    1. "The Miss Factor" (aka intense yearning to be together)
    2. Slow progression (due to less frequent contact)
    3. Loneliness (which may lead to wandering eyes)
    4. Growing apart (which can happen too subtly to be perceived till it's too late)

  10. Thank you Elsie, excellent points!

  11. Hi Bobby,
    Good post. I don't know what to say. Actually I haven't been to a LDR, and I don't know if it really works, but in case of my cousin Jade, it worked for them. Maybe the main thing about it is being honest and truthful to each other. And I really do believe in the saying:

    "If there's will there's a way."

    By the way I'm going back and will be posting about my vacation in a while.


  12. Hi Chie,
    I couldn't have posted your point better, thank you!

  13. Hi Bobby,
    Having the so called "Long Distance Relationship" is the most difficult thing couples go through. I think trust, commitment and constant communication are important in any kind of relationship. To trust your partner is to feel that he/she does not have any wandering eyes to the temptations surrounding him/her. If you will not trust your partner, jealousy will come in and this collapses the relationship.
    Commitment is also necessary because I think it is one of the hardest act to follow. There are many factors which hinders one to be committed , such factors are problems at work, at home, ones health, financial problems, plus the fact that there are temptations surrounding him.
    Last but not the least is constant communication. He should make every effort to relate his true feelings to his partner. If he feels that it is not working anymore, he must let his partner know about it and not left her hanging on air,not knowing what went wrong. On the other hand, if he truly feels so much love for the other person, he should shout it out to the world. Bombard her with overwhelming amount of email, IMs, text messages, phone calls, or even the snail mails just to deter any misunderstanding to their relationship. Make her feel that there is so much love in the air, because the bottom line is "love" is what it's all about in any LDR!!!
    Cynthia (aka Pocahontas)

  14. Thank you Cynthia, very insightful information and I can't agree with you more!

    Sometimes I think before a person enters a LDR, they be given an online tool kit for guidance :)


Thanks so much for your comment and input! :)

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