****Relationships really can work, if we're willing to be honest about them!****

About-Home-Contact-Helpful Resources

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Had a breakup? What now?

We all know how hard it is when a relationship ends. Many times we look at ourselves as failures or end up taking the “Blame” even if the breakup was not our fault at all. We feel that if we had done this or that differently, he/she would still be with us. We have doubts as to whether we will ever love again or possibly we may believe that we could love no other the same as the lost love, as they were the love of our lives. Regardless of the circumstances or reasons for a breakup, they’re not a pleasant time for anyone.

Most times breakups are the result of a number of factors and a combination of both partners inability, or even desire, to work through the difficult period. There are a couple of things that I believe can be helpful in having a strong and lasting relationship or at the very least, give us a better chance of success. I will start at the ending instead of the beginning, as I believe this is the real starting point for success.

Look at past relationships and learn from them.

I think we tend to take this one for granted. We know what happened in our past relationships better than anyone else so we need to ask ourselves what happened? If we had a negative roll to play in those relationships, this would be a good starting point to give an honest assessment of what they were and how we can change them now.

Know what you want for the future.

Do you want to have children? Own a home or rent? Would you like to get married in a large or small ceremony? Would you even want to marry at all? Do you have aspirations of continuing your education after marriage? Career person or stay at home Mom/Dad?

There are so many questions to ask yourself, but the time spent on these questions are well worth it. If you and your prospective partner know where in life you both want to go, you have raised the chance of success if they are similar. If they are not, you may have saved yourselves some heartache.


This is a big one and maybe the most important of all. It goes hand in had with honesty because if it doesn’t, then you’re communicating lies and what’s the point in that? Relay the information that you need your partner to know. Give your partner the information he/she needs to know how you feel and what your point of view is. There are many techniques on how to do this best, which you can easily find surfing the net, but the point I want to make here is open and honest communication.

Positive attitude

No one is perfect and we certainly all make mistakes in this life. We all know this and should accept it and not allow our mistakes to take away from our ability to move forward with a positive attitude. As we make our mistakes, let’s try to correct them to the best of our ability and not allow others to make us feel like we are failures. We are good at some things and not at others, and just because we fail at something does not mean we are failures. There are those that love to break people down and feel that they have made themselves important somehow by making you feel bad or like a failure. These people are failing themselves and have issues that they need to deal with, not you. You will be too busy taking life by the hand and having a positive attitude!


  1. Yeah! You're right! And I think that the couples COMPATIBILITY is the most essential in every relationships. Because we can not always work things out if we have different interests. ayt?! And most of the time it always ends up in arguing, couples also needs to have deep understanding for their partners.

    Have a nice day!

    By the way, how do links work? and how to work on them? I'm kinda new here and I don't know much yet bout how does this works.Hope you can tell me. Thanks..

  2. Hi Chie,

    Compatibility is very important. Unfortunately, most people don't take the time to find out whether they are compatible for each other or not.

    Good insight, thank you!

    p.s. I sent a response to the link question.

  3. Great points you elaborated in here Bobby :)

    The important thing I guess in a relationship or the next relationship you will have after a break-up is that to know if you are really ready for another relationship and not just a relationship on the rebound.

    Also it's important that those in a relationship know how to compromise and forget pride if they want a relationship to work.

  4. EG,
    you make fantastic points!

    Being ready, not rebounding.
    Compromise and not letting pride get in the way.

    Something more for us to remember, thank you!

  5. Wonderful post, Bobby!

    I would add that one might want to take some time to figure out what he or she is looking for in a partner, too. Amazingly, a lot of people don't seem to know when asked!

  6. You know Elsie, taking time to re-coup is one of my main things to tell people, yet I didn't put it in the post? hahaha.

    And you sre so right about us knowing what we want in life.


Thanks so much for your comment and input! :)

eXTReMe Tracker