Time out.

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Imagine a world where you wake up next to the one you love and just know how your day is going to go. You have breakfast ready and brought to you while you’re still in bed. You don’t feel like shopping that day because you’re lazy, no problem, your partner does it with a smile on their face; he/she want to do that for you. Had a problem at work and need to get some stress off your chest? Not to worry because you know that when you get home your partner will be there to listen to it all. Not just hear you, but also listen to how your day went and is actually interested. You find something in the house that stresses you out and you lash out at your partner, and he/she understands your concern and corrects it without a big battle about it. Yes, just imagine!

Well, we all know that the real word of relationships doesn’t quite work that way. We don’t get breakfast served to us in bed, have to do our own shopping, aren’t always listened to and we do argue all as a matter of normalcy. Relationships are difficult sometimes and we have to be diligent to make and keep them successful. Some of these techniques to keep a relationship on course are widely known. Honesty, open dialog, communication and respect among others. But there is one technique that we use that I believe should be given a more important role in any relationship; Time out!

Luckily, “time outs” are already built into our society. In the lower school system a couple of children arguing over the same toy will often be told to take a time out. A couple that may be having a heated discussion may decide to take a time out because they’re getting nowhere. Often times one of the partners may leave the house only to return more calm and open minded, or possibly with a new perspective. This technique does work, but other than with children, it’s a voluntary situation. What if it were mandatory?

We get bombarded with all kinds of media, especially children, so why not semi flood the airways with time out messages? Sort of like the regularly seen commercial, “It’s ten P.M., do you know where your child is?” remember that one? Our churches and schools could have posters here and there with this message as well. There are endless possibilities.

I would venture to say that we could even have a time out built right into our marriage vows. In other words, get the idea across that it is perfectly fine for a husband/wife to stay over a friend or relatives house because they need a time out. Not to be used as an excuse to avoid responsibility, no that would be frowned upon, but as a tool to get some space from a stressful situation. Let’s face it, we all need a time out once in a while because it is effective, so why not build this tool into our society? Maybe, just maybe, it can help relationships to last longer and be healthier too. Fact is, there’s nothing to loose with “time outs” but quite a bit to gain!