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Monday, March 10, 2008

Good looks, or attraction?

As I was surfing around the Internet, I came across this article By Rodney Battles at Askmen.com. It’s pretty interesting stuff basically about how looks aren’t everything and he lists things that seem more important, through a survey, to both men and woman.

After reading that article, I come across this one by Randall Parker at futurepundit.com. He is basically saying that “People Pay More Attention To Good Looking People” or, attractive people.

Both are interesting articles and valid it seems, although it got me to reviewing my opinion on the subject. I thought I’d share my experiences about good-looking people based from watching and listening to men and woman. First though, some definitions from Dictionary.com


1.providing pleasure or delight, esp. in appearance or manner; pleasing; charming; alluring: an attractive personality.

2. arousing interest or engaging one's thought, consideration, etc.: an attractive idea; an attractive price.


pleasing in appearance especially by reason of conformity to ideals of form and proportion; "a fine-looking woman"; "a good-looking man"; "better-looking than her sister"; "very pretty but not so extraordinarily handsome"- Thackeray; "our southern women are well-favored"- Lillian Hellman [syn: fine-looking]

So, pretty much good looks are visual while attractiveness can be something about the person. Although there is more to this sentence, I’ll keep it basic so I can find it easier to understand.

On the whole, men and woman are attracted to good-looking people in the beginning more than anything else. It’s the first thing we see, it’s the first thing we judge. I’m a firm believer that this statement is true. I don’t judge it in a bad way either because I believe it is quite natural, and the point that I made the statement should keep me kind of partial to it (Smiles).

The more important thing to me though is what comes after the initial contact. Now that you know the person is good-looking to you, what is the person about? Who is that person? This is where I believe the attraction phase kicks in, or not. As we get to know that person a little better, we may decide that this person is not for us in a relationship type status. They may be too pushy or domineering, arrogant or timid, qualities of the person that we just don’t find attractive, or that we really like about them. We may be attracted to how the person uses their eyes when they look at us, or maybe the way they purse their lips. Their walk, way they talk, smile or any number of other things that fall into attraction.

I once heard a guy say, “There’s somebody for everyone. Even the ugly people have an ugly partner out there somewhere.” Interesting perspective. Obviously he’s never looked into attraction among people.

I’m not sure if surveys and research are all that accurate either or not, but I’ve been sure for many years that looks come out on top before anything else. But, for a relationship to work, we need something more than just looks.

Unfortunately, there are those out there that because of their looks, or self perception, either don’t get the opportunity to mingle as much as others, or have decided not to. Maybe they’ve tried mingling and decided to be “Stay at home Joe’s and Joanne’s.” Let’s face it; society reinforces this complex that people feel. When a wedding is put together, the right people have to go together. Joe is too short to match with Lois and April is too chubby to match with Dan. It’s all about looks.

I still believe that society puts too much emphasis on looks, whether through commercial advertising, movies or the media in general. I do however see that a person that is looking for a real and rewarding relationship will put more of the emphasis on the attraction angle. This is good news.

Where do you think looks fall in the scheme of things? How important are looks to you in a possible future partner? Does your experience, like mine, tell you that looks reign supreme initially, but eventually are overtaken by attraction and commonality?

Let me know, I’m all ears!

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