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Saturday, February 16, 2008

Thoughts about dating sites....

Photo credit: http://www.stuffedark.com/penguintuxhug.htm

Dating sites are a dime a dozen these days and just about everyone belongs to one or more. Some of these sites are sincere, some not. Dating sites cater to just about every possible combination of singles out there too. Same gender, foreign, kinky etc. There are thousands of them and yes, some are just internet marketing tools. I have belonged, or still belong to quite a few. I joined most of these sites to seek friendship and have been very successful at it. Along the way, I've picked up a few tid bits and consistencies that I'd like to share.

Take your time to fill out your complete profile and give the honest information that you want a prospective partner to be attracted to. This may seem quit obvious, but it really isn't followed as much as we think and you have what I call, "Dead in the water" profiles. Profiles that not too many people would be interested in and almost certainly will not receive sincere messages. So fill out a complete profile and you've paved the ground work to begin.

Most dating sites these days seem to have forums. chat rooms. blogs, picture ratings etc. Take advantage of these. One needs a little more caution with the chat rooms if they are not moderated, but even if they are, don't rush in to giving out your yahoo messenger or even your e-mail until you know who you are giving it to.

Forums are what are considered the, "Bread and butter" of most web sites, dating sites included. This is where members get to know each other and more importantly, most forums are moderated so the trash is usually taken out regularly. So use the forums and begin to interact with other members. There are a wide variety of topics to choose from, so there's something for everyone.

Aside from "Blank" profiles, one of the things I find quite sad is that many members don't post because they're shy. I understand this quite well as I am also quite shy. But, let's remember, it's the cyberworld and we are free to log off anytime we choose as opposed to being in person, right? Also, and maybe more importantly, I have found it easier to deal with members if my profile says, "Just friends" as there is less pressure put on my. I have found that even when you put "Just friends" on your profile, it's a great way to meet a prospective partner. I have advised some friends about this idea with much success.

The reason for this is just human nature I think. Opposite sexes tend to flirt no matter what is on there profile. We see what others say in posts, how they reply to our posts and get to know others a lot better. I have seen way more than just a few "Just friends" profiles hook up with each other, so from my experience, it's solid advice.

Use the resources that these sites offer. I'm not just talking about blogs and forums here, I'm talking about making suggestions to the Admin. There is usually a "Make a site suggestion" thread that you can give your thoughts, negative or positive, right to the owner on how to better his/her site. They appreciate this and I have seen on many occasions where the suggestions were taken and the member remembered for it. Not a bad thing to have the Admin know you as a pro active member on their site, right? Most sites have a complaint button or report button that goes strait to the Admin if a moderator doesn't catch the problem first. Use it if you need to because again, it is appreciated by the owner.

I have flown thousands of miles to meet some of the people from dating/ pen pal sites. It was well worth it for me and many others that I know have done that also. Although, whether male or female, follow all common sense and safety guidelines. Never meeting alone, meeting in a large well crowded establishment etc. If you're not that daring or just want to stay local, there are some really good sites that you can join and make friends or more. I'll list a few here that I have experience with:



The Meetup.com site has all kinds of interests, not just dating. You can even start your own get together or interest group.

There is a great blog about dating sites at http://singletude.blogspot.com/ with a good deal of usefull information. You can go right to it by clicking here

These sites are free and quite large, although you can go to the mega sites with cost if you so choose like eharmony.com or match.com. I don't know that much about the pay sites as I get all I have ever needed from the free sites, but it's just another avenue for you to explore if you desire.

If you get anything from this post, get the point of being active! Being active on dating sites is the way to your success, whatever that success may be. Good luck and best wishes to you!

Do you have any dating site experiences that you would like to share here? What about personal tips that may help others find what they're seeking?

*This post is based from my experiences and those off friends on dating sites through the years. It is also based from behind the scenes experiences, as I have been a moderator on a popular site for many years.

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  1. Good, thorough post, and thanks for the shout out to Singletude!

    In contrast, I have lots of experience with the paid sites, and I'm thinking about posting on this in the near future.

    Thanks for the resources. :)

  2. Thank you Elsie, and you're welcome.

    I have seen some reviews about the paid sites in the past, but I'm never really sure if they are honest or if someone is actually plugging their own site. It would be refreshing to see your reviews!

    And I'm certain it would be helpful to many :)


Thanks so much for your comment and input! :)

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