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Friday, January 11, 2008

Cyber dating.

My opinion on online dating.

Since the advent of computers that allow many of us access to the whole wide world (WWW), people have had many more opportunities than they normally would.
Aside from business, information, learning etc, people have the chance to meet others from far off lands, or even next door. We can talk to each other with ever growing ease regardless of the thousands of miles between us.
Many sites have popped up that bring many of us closer together. Friend sites, pen pal sites, dating sites, you name it. I looked for some pen pal sites a few years ago, but didn't really find what i was looking for. I decided to join some dating sites because it seemed that all the people were there. I didn't need, nor was afforded, the time for a date, especially from a long distance away. Now that I have had some experience with dating sites and their members, I also have an opinion.

I have heard many people say, mostly from reading forums, that it is dangerous to meet someone online and that there are many scams also. Well, here my take on the first point: it is dangerous.

It can be dangerous to walk in a thunderstorm. It can be dangerous to walk on a slippery surface. It can be dangerous to drink too much wine. So yes, it can be dangerous to meet someone in person from online. This is common sense. However, it has been my experience that:

EVERYONE that i have met in person has not been dangerous.
85 percent of these people became my friends.
I am a better person because of these people.

If you think about it a second you may realize that most people have e-mail. Many of these people also enjoy something that others enjoy also like, sports, reading, hiking, language study etc. If you are in an online club or forum because of these interests, does that make YOU a dangerous person? Well, you are exactly the possible dangerous person that others talk about! Great! Now you have found your first non-dangerous person-YOU. This is my first point of clarity.

Second point.
I have experienced meeting many new friends. I did meet the first 2 by myself, I felt comfortable, it was in my city, it was in a public place and I had alot of talk time with them first. And so on it went. Next time there were more people added to the 3 of us. Many different backgrounds and cultures and life experiences. We all clicked because we all fit into point number 1.

On the other hand, i have received the usual spam and scam messages and e-mails from the what seems like overabundance of fake profiles. We are lucky because we KNOW these profiles are fake and useless.
There are the ones (mostly males) who are pervs. They are easily brought forth as such. They usually give it away immidiately with their words. With just a bit of common sense, these pervs can be avoided as well.

So, all in all, i'm saying that online dating is pretty safe. Let's use common sense before we actually meet in real time. Ask another friend if that guy or girl is cool. Many members know each other in that country or city. Only meet them with other trusted people there also. Meet only in public places. Tell someone beforehand who, when, why, where and how you're meeting this or these people.

Let's let the cyberworld be to our advantage for many things, including dating.


  1. Thanks for commenting on my blog! I can see that you also have a lot of value to share about the single life.

    I think your post on cyber dating is right on. I get frustrated when people cast aspersions on online dating, suggesting that it's somehow "less than" a more traditional meeting forum. The truth is that online dating sites represent a cross-section of the population, the same cross-section you'd find at your favorite bar on a Saturday night--some losers and lunatics but also a lot of decent, normal folk.

    If you're single and looking, it would be foolish to ignore such a plentiful opportunity to find a mate because of prejudice about the Internet stigma.

  2. You're most welcome Elsie!

    wow, your comment here put two pages of my thoughts into about a paragraph and a half, very skilled!

    I am fortunate to have traveled to Thailand many times and made some great friends. One day I realized that out of all these good people I had met, none were psycho's. Yet, I met all of them from a website. They, like I, were average good hearted people and as you said so eloquently, are a cross section of the population.

    I hope any value that I may have to share will indeed be of positive effect on someone.

    Thanks so much for your comment!

  3. your opinion about online dating was 90% true
    and for spam and scam emails, its very natural since they got your email through your subscription, so if you don wanna receive that junk, then you better filter your email or blocking spam folder

  4. Thank you Takumi86, advice well worth taking!


Thanks so much for your comment and input! :)

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